It's here already and I find myself listless.
November 5 will be 2 years. It's hard to believe. Some days it feels like last week. Some, 7 years ago. The "season" for me begins in September. I realized I wasn't ready to go through this time of year without a safety net so I went back on anti-depressants for the remainder of the year. I was feeling weak for making that choice, then reread my own words from August. Depression takes strength and diligence; being conscious of your body and thoughts, and strong enough to do something about it as soon as you recognize something's "off". I make it a priority to check in with myself to make sure I'm not veering off the path. It's so much easier to deal with in the early stages that it's worth the minor effort. I wanted to share this part in case there are any others who are suffering. You're not alone and you can get through it.
It's far from doom and gloom though. This year has been pretty incredible. I'm not 100% but I'm well on my way. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would have accomplished the things I've done so far, I would have said you were delusional. This year alone I have completed more dolls than I have since 2010 and had my highest selling work, ever; I've worked make-up jobs using Bret's kit; attended suicide prevention benefits; raised money and walked in the AFSP Out of the Darkness walk for suicide prevention with friends and family; and counseled suicide and PSTD survivors. On the days I don't think I'm doing enough, it's good to have a list like this to put it in perspective. It's all been at my own pace of course, which at times is a slower than a snail lol. I'll be interested to see what I can do at full speed.
I'll wrap it up with this: Yeah, it's rough but I'm making it worth it.